Aggressive Affections
by alydhe
Summary: pg13 because of language Arabella Figg tells Harry about his parents, but Moony and Padfoot remember it differantly. [Early Work, Here for Archival purposes]


** Aggressive Affections **

Harry beamed at Mrs. Figg as he sat down across from her in the old DADA room. It had been two months since he'd come back for his fifth year to find his old babysitter sitting next to Snape at the head table. 

He'd fallen out of his chair when he'd first seen her, surprising Ron when he'd made a grab at the red haired boy to keep himself from falling. Unfortunately, he'd only pulled Ron down with them. 

Hermione had laughed at them for an hour. 

But he'd soon settled into the fact that cabbagey Mrs. Figg was really Arabella Figg, first cousin to Albus Dumbledor and ex-Hogwarts professor. 

"Hello Harry, to what do I owe this visit?" she asked him as she poured them both a cup of tea. 

"Well, Snuffles mentioned that you knew my mum and dad while you worked as Potions Mistress here and…" 

"And you wondered if I would tell you about them. I would be delighted to Harry." 

Harry smiled at her again and watched as she took a drink of her tea before starting, neither noticed the two men leaning against the door, watching them with amused eyes. 

"Well…James and Lily were always perfect for each other, and everyone knew it, they always got along so well." 

*** 

"Asshole!" 

"Bitch!" 

"Toilet sniffer!" 

"Turd licker!" 

"Butt Reamer" 

"Donkey whore!" 

Students stood in a circle, watching the two first years sling insults back and forth. It was like a vulgar game of ping-pong. The red headed girl seemed to be the most creative, but the bespectacled boy was pretty good at putting a new swing on old insults. They seemed to be evenly matched. 

"Pig Fucker!" 

"Slytherin Whore!" 

"House Elf molester!" 

"Pansy assed tadpole sucker!" 

*** 

"They were never ashamed to show their affection for one another in public." 

*** 

James smirked as he silently stalked his red-haired prey. Ah yes, Lily Evans would pay for the three years of hell she had put him through. 

He pushed himself up against the wall; he could hear her chatting with that Hufflepuff Amos Diggory just around the corner. He slowly slid towards the edge of the wall, raising the slime filled balloon in his hand as he went. 

He tried to keep himself from snickering; the slime in this one little balloon would turn her bright orange for three weeks! 

He had the balloon raised directly over his head, ready to bring it down on her head, when he turned the corner. 

WHAM! A fist rammed straight into his nose. Forgetting the balloon he put both hands to the bleeding appendage, smashing the goo all over his face as he did so. 

"I hate you." He grumbled to the smirking girl in front of him. He was already beginning to change color. 

"Serves you right." She scoffed before turning on her heel and stalking off, a snickering Diggory trailing behind her. 

*** 

"…and your mother was always seemed to welcome James' affections." 

*** 

"I can't believe you talked me into this." A sixth year Lily Evans complained to the man she was dancing with. 

James only smiled sweetly at her, "Aw, cmon Lils…you know you love me. Besides, it's only a ball." 

"hmph!" But she had to admit, being in his arms wasn't as bad as she thought it would be. 

A hand slid down to squeeze her bum. Her eyes narrowed at his smug smile. 

"PERVERT!" She screamed as she whacked him over the head before stalking out of the great hall. 

James only sighed, maybe he was moving a _little_ fast. He glanced back at the table where the remainder of the Marauders sat. 

Great…they were all laughing at him. 

…Wow…he didn't know Peter could snort pumpkin juice out his nose... that had to have gone five feet at least. 

*** 

Finally the two men in the doorway could take it no longer, and they burst out laughing, startling Harry and Arabella. 

Remus gasped for air, "Bella, I think you've been in the muggle world for too long." 

"Yeah, it's affected your memory," Sirius wheezed. 

The two sitting in front of the fire could only watch as the two collapsed, still laughing, onto the rug, seemingly lost in whatever memories that had caused the outburst. 

Finally Figg sniffed indignantly, "Well, if you think you can tell it better go ahead! I'm through with you two." 

She stalked out the door, making sure to step on the two men as she went. Harry simply shook his head and went to help his godfather and former professor off the floor. 

"So what were mum and dad really like?" He asked. 

That set them off again. 

________________________ 

Well, what do you think? Let me know please! 


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